Archive | January, 2009

Do You Ever Feel As If You’re Caught Between Two Pieces of Stale Bread??

31 Jan

sandwich

The Main Course

Well, in the middle of a rejection sandwich, and don’t know whether to use mayo or mustard to make it better.

Two agents recently responded to my query:  One agent said she liked the writing but the idea was not right for the list.  Another agent said she loved the idea, but the book’s format needed a do-over.  WHAAAAAA!!!!!!!    Help.  I’m so confused.

What’s an author to do?

On the Side

THEN, you have the sour pickle on the side – DIDN’T even make the list of finalists in a contest I entered recently.

The Solution

Sounds like this is the perfect meal for a double Margarita on the rocks, with salt!

If You Saw My Ad in PublishersMarketplace, Thanks for Coming!

26 Jan

If you’re here because of my PublishersMarketplace ad for a volunteer, thank you for coming.  Please click on the page tabs to read about me and about my novel, The Cuckoo’s Cry.  The volunteer opportunity is described below.

Agented Literary Novelists

I could really, really use your help.  My subject matter is apparently not quite right for many agents’ lists (I think up to 91 rejections and counting.  I know – a lot – but I’m not ready to throw my computer through the window just yet.  Aren’t writers supposed to be made of steel?).  However, I’ve gotten great feedback (and no, not just from my friends and family, but from total strangers as well).  It’s a really good book. 

If you remember what it was like before you were agented, or before you were published, I need your empathy, and your help.  (If you didn’t even have to jump through all the hoops to get published, then I could really use your help!)

I invite you to read my manuscript, and if you like it, please recommend me to your agent.  But only if you like it.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed, nor will your agent.  Just need some help getting past the secretary’s desk.  Then you can take pleasure in the fact that you’ve just read a great book, and satisfaction in helping a mom/grandma get published after writing for the past 18 years while raising her family.

Literary Agents and Publishers

I can help change the world, but just need to “get past your receptionist’s desk.”  I ask that you just give my manuscript a chance.  I think you’ll be quite pleased!  And who knows – this could be the book that changes the world in 2009!

Comic Relief…PLEASE!! check your child’s homework!!

24 Jan

Readers – this is why you should look at all of your child’s homework!!  

childs-homework1
 
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.  
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.  I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it.    Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole.  It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.  Smith

Sometimes You Need to Focus on the Tree and Not the Forest…

18 Jan

forest

Dreaming Big?

We all have dreams.  We all have big ideas:  things we want to do in our lives, our goals, our mission.  But what if the dream is just too big to wrap your brain around all at once?   We’ve accepted the challenge to “dream big.”  What then?  If our focus is too wide, we will end up wandering in all directions, losing time and straying from our map. 

My Pyramid

How to Climb a Pyramid

If your goal is to stand atop the highest pyramid, you have to get there by putting one foot in front of the other.  If you’ve ever tried it, you know.  That’s the only way to climb a pyramid. 

That is the key – make it simple by taking one step at a time.  Be happy in accomplishing each small step.  And if you add up all the small steps, you will eventually reach the summit – you’ll be standing on top of the pyramid, and looking down on all the distance you’ve traveled.

Babysteps – The Way We All Learned to Travel

In thinking of it this way, a person would be crazy to expect to reach the top in the blink of an eye.  It’s usually impossible, and it’s discouraging when it can’t be done.  Discouragement leads to frustration, which leads to depression, which leads to surrender.  These are the enemies. 

So don’t even try it.  Be content in taking each small step – break your journey down into chunks.  You may stumble here and there, and have to sit awhile to regain your breath.  But that’s OK – you can get up again and continue on your way.  And be happy that your legs still work, and you can still see the top.  And after awhile, you will be able to look back and see how many steps you’ve taken, and gain the confidence of knowing that you can reach the top.  The goal can be attained – it just takes awhile.

“To Do” List

And I find that it helps to write it down.  Note the small steps as daily or weekly goals, and check them off each time you finish one.    You just have to organize it properly by having a manageable and realistic gameplan.  It feels really good to check off each task, regardless of how small it is.

Be patient.  Keep it simple.  Rejoice in each small goal accomplished, and accept the happiness that comes with it.  Concentration is a state of mind, as is satisfaction.

Intervention From a Wise Man

Thank you, husband, for making me see the necessity for, and the beauty in, the baby steps which eventually lead us to our dreams.

Australia Offers $100K for Island Blogger

13 Jan

Would you like to work here???hamilton-island1

 

Well, I must say – it does sound too good to be true.  But a state in Australia is adverstising a job for someone to live in a multimillion dollar home on Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef, work 12 hours a month caretaking, video their experience, and then maintain a daily blog.  Hmmmm…..I wonder what my boss would say about this? 

But this arrangement would give a writer time to actually write, and a blogger time to blog.  (I’m getting chill bumps!)  And you’d get paid for it!   (But I’d hate to be part of the selection committee!!  Yikes!!!  I’m sure their eyes would be just about crossed after looking at the millions of video apps they are bound to receive.)

But one lucky winner….

You can read about it here (among other news sites):

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479747,00.html

And can apply at www.islandreefjob.com  (if you can get on, that is.  The site was apparently shorted-out and closed down within 24 hours, but was up and running again just a few minutes ago.  Yes, I admit.  I did check it out!)

Good luck!!

The Actress Depression – Coming to a Theater Near You

13 Jan

Depression is such a wonderful actress, the mistress of disguises.  She plays so many roles so convincingly that it’s hard to distinguish her from routine life.  She dresses up in her favorite costume and insinuates herself into every aspect of your life, both public and private.  Uninvited – she doesn’t care.  But she knows when you’re most vulnerable for her performances.  Sadness, loss, rejection, stress.  Our mistress knows the best times to entertain you with her show.

 

Depression dons the disguise of your new best friend, convincing you that you can always confide in her, listen to her, take her advice, follow her lead.  She talks you into believing that staying in bed under your covers is the best way to deal with the day.  She makes you believe that confiding in people other than her is not a good idea.  Yes, our girl is quite the selfish one – she wants your undivided attention.

 

Depression sometimes makes believe she is a long-lost acquaintance; one you’ve been missing and waiting to see.  Forcing you to choose between her company and those of your family and friends.  Finally convincing you that she should be able to monopolize your attention; that it is only right.

 

Depression does whatever she needs to do to dominate your life.  She acts out a sad drama to cry over, she portrays a boring lecturer to make you sleepy.  She loves to cause unexpected tears and fatigue.  That is her mission – to control your life with her performances.

 

She is Academy-Award-winning, and has taken her bows far too many times.

 

Know her for what she is – just an actress.  You don’t have to watch her performances; you don’t have to live through her dramas.  If you are one to receive a special invitation to the show, politely inform her that you have better things to do with your life.

 

Recognize Depression when you see her. Talk to a girlfriend, don’t be afraid to live through whatever feelings you’re dealing with, go to a mental health professional, take medication if your doctor suggests them.  Just don’t be mesmerized by the Oscar-winner’s performance.  Decide that the highlight of her illustrious career is over, and get on with your life.

Contributing to Working Mother Magazine…

11 Jan

Yes, I am going to join the MomBlogs on the Working Mother Magazine website.  See you there soon…

www.workingmother.com

Have You Ever Felt Like You Want to Scream?…

9 Jan

Have you ever felt as if your chest was constricted and your emotions were about to erupt at any moment?????

Well, if so, here’s what you need to do…

Take the straitjacket off, go into your closet, and JUST SCREAM!!!!

It feels really, really good.

Nathan Bransford’s Blog Discusses Query Letters…

8 Jan

For all you writers out there, you might want to check out Nathan Bransford’s blog (agent at Curtis Brown).  He asks for feedback on a very important question about those ugly requisites – Query Letters.

http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/

Am I a Relative of Tony Romo, You Ask???…

7 Jan

Well, it is a very good question.  I’ve been asked it many times, and I would prefer to be asked if I were Tony’s sister for girlfriend.  However, I had the rude awakening when I announced the name on my reservation for dinner one night, and the hostess looked at me and asked if I were Tony’s mother.  (AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!) That one hurt!

Sometimes reality sucks.  (Oh well, at least she didn’t say grandmother!)

But the answer is “no” – I don’t think I’m a relative (unless many times removed), much to the dismay of the men in my family who would love free Cowboy tickets.

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