I have been waiting exactly 1 year and 32 days for my deceased father to visit me – I had begged him to before we stopped the machines that technically ended his life last June 25. And he finally came to see me.  At exactly 2:41 AM this morning, I was startled awake by the dream that my father had entered the room in his typical nonchalant way, saying “Hello” as he held his hands in the air with palms open, smile across his face.  I raced to him and put my arms around him, and practically squeezed him to death (no pun intended).  He looked like he always looked, in a blue and white checked button-up short-sleeve shirt and jeans.  I cried, “You came back, you came back – I knew you would!” I was happier than I can describe.

And then I was awake. 

I immediately began sobbing, knowing that he had come to visit and I’d just ended it by waking up.  “No, no, I’ve been waiting so long, and now it’s over, after only a few seconds.” Happiness and sadness were jumbled together in a heart-wrenching tangle.  I was choked by tears that I couldn’t control. I thought that maybe if I went back to sleep, he would return. And I tried.  But I guess he was only allotted one visit, and it was gone.

I truly believe that the deceased come back to visit their loved-ones through dreams.  Not as part of the ridiculous, “flying-like-a-bird” or “fighting-like-a-Ninja” dreams.  But in the quiet dreams where thoughtful conversations take place.  Where the departed can ask if you’re OK, and let you know that it will be allright.  Although I wish it would have lasted longer, I’m glad that I could see him again.  And I truly believe that he was letting me know he’s still there, watching over me like he always did; that a father will never stop being a father.

And at least, for now, I’m happy.

The Trip…

On Sunday, my two kids and I went to visit my friend at her new home in the country – a/k/a Texas outback.  She has acres of empty quiet wilderness, with deer venturing into her backyard on numerous occasions, and lots and lots of twinkly stars in the sky at night.  I thought it would be nice to let the kids participate in a little bit of nature.  Maybe the hummingbirds would come up to her feeder on the porch while we were there.  Maybe they would find something else to amaze them….

And They Did…

Unfortunately for me, the most amazing thing they found that day was the blue water in the toilet bowl. 

“Mom, look, the blue water stays there – in ours, after you flush it, the blue is gone.  How do they do that!?!?” they asked in amazement.  And I was amazed and stunned as well….that in the middle of nature, my kids would be especially interested in the blue toilet water.

Then secondly, they were impressed with the dish scrubber that held dishwashing soap in the handle.  “How cool is that!” they exclaimed in amazement.  “Wow – why don’t we have one of those!”

Score zero out of two for me. I was scratching my head, trying to figure out what “cosmopolitan” cave they were raised in!  How ironic that they would discover blue toilet water and soap-holding dish scrubbers out in the country!  My city house doesn’t even have those things!

But at least the third thing they especially liked was the see-saw – a very sturdy homemade heavy wooden one.  They loved it. (That sits a little better with me than blue toilet water).

But other than my kids’ unusual take on their trip to nature, they had a great time   Thanks K.W. for a great visit!  Your country home is really beautiful!

1997 

Today is the last day that our dear friend and family member, our dog Shelby, will be with us.  We finally have no choice but to put her down.  We will miss her dearly, especially the kids.  After all, she helped raise most of them.

We got Shelby twelve years ago – she was found by a coworker wandering the street, and showed up at her doorstep.  She knew I was looking for a puppy and brought her to work (very risky since we worked at an accounting firm in a thirty-five story downtown office building).  But she survivied in the box, and made it home.

I had told my husband that my coworker said she’d been sitting in her shoe – he was happy about that since he wanted a small dog.  Well, what my friend must have meant by that was Shelby’s head must have been resting in her shoe.  There was no way that body would’ve fit in a shoe, probably not even in a fireman’s boot.

Shelby is definitely a bird dog of some sort – she loves to hunt and point at her prey, and has been known to snag a bird or two right out of the air if they swoop in too low.  She was never able to help herself when it came to the kids’ gerbils either – we decided not to get any more of those.  And raccoons beware – she loved to try to catch them (although I think she lost the last couple of battles she had with them.)

Shelby was definitely a kids’ dog, and it’s a good thing.  She loved to play, and wrestle, and be hugged.  She was also a wonderful “mother” to our Chihuahua, Mia (although she really didn’t have much choice in the matter – Mia latched on to her like a needy kid).

2009

Shelby defended our home and defended our family, and has been a loyal friend and devoted family member.  We will greatly miss her.  And I think my younger kids put it best in the words they wrote last night:

IT’S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. EVERY ANIMAL GOES TO HEAVEN AND HAS A GOOD TIME AND WATCHES OVER YOU. WE THINK GOD WILL THINK SHELBY IS THE BEST DOG EVER!