Does this look like a demon tree to you? This beautiful, fresh, green tribute to Christmas? Well, that’s what I thought too. It was to be a beautiful addition to our Christmas decor.
There were no warning signs at the tree farm – no notices that said these living monstrosities could be hazardous to your health. I will admit – it was beautiful at first.
And I guess I was just naive enough to think that cutting it down ourselves would assure us a fresh, supple tree for the whole Christmas season. Well ……….. NOT!
Putting it up was one thing, but taking it down was quite another. My beautiful, soft-needled Christmas tree had turned itself into a weapon, producing more sharp monster-barbs that a porcupine on steroids. I employed the much feared “tree-slayer” (aka my husband) to take it down and out. Little did he know that it would fight back.
Upon it’s great decent to the floor, the monster-tree exploded in what can only be described as the atomic bomb of the fir family – sharp needles flying in all directions, and embedding themselves into every nook and cranny.
The battle raged on – one man against an army of mutant pine needles. I’m happy to say he survived with minimal scratches and pricks. But the tree monster did not fare so well – it was slain and broken, and now lies in pitiful pieces on the sidewalk.
You might feel sorrow for the tree – I don’t know. But if you do, don’t worry. It is getting its revenge. It has embedded its remnants into every crevice existing in my home, from the inside of once-fuzzy slippers, to the padding of carpets. It has left its legacy with us, and we will probably be discovering bits of the legacy during the remainder of the year to come.
Next Year’s Plan
Tree in a box.